If you read my blog you'll know I've been busy with Music Man rehearsals. Last night was our very first performance to the senior citizens; Surprisingly enough, I wasn't nervous! I just treated it like a normal rehearsal, except it wasn't, considering we had old people watching. . . Tonight, Tomorrow, and Sunday, are our performances, and I'm so excited!
The day after the performance(opening night). . .
Literally, I came home, ate dinner and went to bed! Last night was opening night and it was great! The cast is AMAZING! I was surprised how many teachers would be in this performance. I mean they were in it and did fantastically well, but I didn't realize how many of these teachers had that much talent other than the obvious, teaching.
Last night we were all in our places and we had a few minutes because people were still entering the auditorium. So Many of us are standing behind the train scene which is behind the Main curtain and we started singing songs from the 90's. It was one other student who played Harold Hill, 4 teachers, and me. We sang "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton, another from Backstreet boys, and N'sync, and "Jet Pack Blues" from Fall Out Boy, which I sang. And we were going to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen and talked about Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" but it was time to begin the show.
I'm so excited about tonight's show, hopefully we'll sing some more before we go on! I can't wait. Last night I wasn't nervous either, and I'm generally excited. But before tonight's show I want to finish "Girl Online" by Zoella, and go to the local Dari-ette for lunch. So, I'll see All of you BEAUTIFUL people in the next blog!
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Endlessness
Sorry I haven't been here for a while. I had one of my busiest days yesterday. I had rehearsal straight after school until 5. Then I had to be at the middle school for a Band performance at 6:45 until 8- 8:30ish. It was SO LONG! I digress, because it's all worth it in the end. While I've been typing I've been listening to Muse's newest song Psycho, 1D's You and I, 5SOS's Amnesia, Daughtry's Waiting For Superman, and Fall Out Boy's newest album, American Beauty/American Psycho(my favorite band ever!) All good things.
Right now I'm waiting for a YouTube video to come up, afterwords, I have rehearsal at 5:30 so, hopefully that video goes up soon! Next week is "Hell Week" and "Tech Week." Hell week because of 2 hour test's for graduation, each morning. Then Tech week for rehearsal, Our 1st performance is on Thursday for Senior Citizens, then 20-22nd is for everyone else. I'm SO NERVOUS and REALLY EXCITED! Just got done creating an event on Facebook, because I need the moral support. . . Is that dumb? Oh well.
One of my teachers told the class "You need to stop living in the moment."
And I just thought; "How else CAN you live? People say 'Stop focusing on the past and look to the future' others say, 'Focus on the now, and REMEMBER the past and your future will be alright.' " Well. . .I'd do anything to be young again. I know I'm only 16 but not having to worry about life and other people was SO MUCH MORE FUN than now, where you actually have to care. Growing up sucks. The only good part is getting to do things you couldn't when you were younger. Even though, in my experience, life got harder, I also grew and even though somethings I did were stupid and EXTREMELY cringe worthy, I'd NEVER want to relive half the things I already went through. My life could end tomorrow! But there isn't a tomorrow until 12:01 a.m. What I'm saying is, when I was younger I didn't care and I was happy. Today I ask myself "Am I Happy?" and "What makes me happy?" and I can't answer because I don't know anymore. There are plenty of things that CAN make me happy. But for right now? I no longer know. Life IS hard but it STILL moves on. Time is endless, Possibilities are endless, and even though life ends, it's endless until(in my case) God calls me home.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
Right now I'm waiting for a YouTube video to come up, afterwords, I have rehearsal at 5:30 so, hopefully that video goes up soon! Next week is "Hell Week" and "Tech Week." Hell week because of 2 hour test's for graduation, each morning. Then Tech week for rehearsal, Our 1st performance is on Thursday for Senior Citizens, then 20-22nd is for everyone else. I'm SO NERVOUS and REALLY EXCITED! Just got done creating an event on Facebook, because I need the moral support. . . Is that dumb? Oh well.
One of my teachers told the class "You need to stop living in the moment."
And I just thought; "How else CAN you live? People say 'Stop focusing on the past and look to the future' others say, 'Focus on the now, and REMEMBER the past and your future will be alright.' " Well. . .I'd do anything to be young again. I know I'm only 16 but not having to worry about life and other people was SO MUCH MORE FUN than now, where you actually have to care. Growing up sucks. The only good part is getting to do things you couldn't when you were younger. Even though, in my experience, life got harder, I also grew and even though somethings I did were stupid and EXTREMELY cringe worthy, I'd NEVER want to relive half the things I already went through. My life could end tomorrow! But there isn't a tomorrow until 12:01 a.m. What I'm saying is, when I was younger I didn't care and I was happy. Today I ask myself "Am I Happy?" and "What makes me happy?" and I can't answer because I don't know anymore. There are plenty of things that CAN make me happy. But for right now? I no longer know. Life IS hard but it STILL moves on. Time is endless, Possibilities are endless, and even though life ends, it's endless until(in my case) God calls me home.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Get Distracted
If you get stuck in the vortex of the internet, you're most likely not, a very active person. You can obviously tell that I got stuck because I'm blogging earlier today than yesterday. I get really distracted because I just stop typing for a second and got on YouTube and almost completed a 2 minute video, which probably explains a lot why I post so late. Okay, I have a social life but, most of it is on the internet, and through email.
Music Man rehearsal was last night was fun, however, I have a story to tell.(Don't we all?) I had an awkward encounter. This guy I like,(Oh my gosh, could she be anymore white girl?) forgot his hat, because we wear hats, and I didn't want to make him feel weird going out there without a hat,(it wouldn't have been that big a deal) so I walked up behind him, trying to put this felt hat on his head, and he moved! So I was just standing there smashing it into his face... and ran away! WHY DID I RUN AWAY?! Am I stupid? I literally wanted to die. Why am I so awkward? I guess I just didn't know what to do so I stood there, and once he took hold of the hat I ran. I went up to him after and I'm like "Sorry for smashing your hat into your face, I was trying to get it on to your head and it didn't work." He's like, "Oh, you're fine, Alan was making me a little upset. You're fine." And I'm like "Either way, I'm sorry if I hurt you or anything." He said "You're fine." and I walked away thinking 'DAMN YOU! ALAN!'
In other news, we were playing basket ball in gym and when I went to catch the ball it hit my chin. And a few years previous, I had fallen at this play place and had to get stitches. So I had a cringe attack because it felt like it was bleeding all over again, and it was just the worse. I'm fine thanks for asking.(umm, you're talking to a computer screen, why would it ask anything?)
Anyway I should get some homework done before rehearsal at 5:30. I hope you all are doing well. I'll see you all tomorrow.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
Music Man rehearsal was last night was fun, however, I have a story to tell.(Don't we all?) I had an awkward encounter. This guy I like,(Oh my gosh, could she be anymore white girl?) forgot his hat, because we wear hats, and I didn't want to make him feel weird going out there without a hat,(it wouldn't have been that big a deal) so I walked up behind him, trying to put this felt hat on his head, and he moved! So I was just standing there smashing it into his face... and ran away! WHY DID I RUN AWAY?! Am I stupid? I literally wanted to die. Why am I so awkward? I guess I just didn't know what to do so I stood there, and once he took hold of the hat I ran. I went up to him after and I'm like "Sorry for smashing your hat into your face, I was trying to get it on to your head and it didn't work." He's like, "Oh, you're fine, Alan was making me a little upset. You're fine." And I'm like "Either way, I'm sorry if I hurt you or anything." He said "You're fine." and I walked away thinking 'DAMN YOU! ALAN!'
In other news, we were playing basket ball in gym and when I went to catch the ball it hit my chin. And a few years previous, I had fallen at this play place and had to get stitches. So I had a cringe attack because it felt like it was bleeding all over again, and it was just the worse. I'm fine thanks for asking.(umm, you're talking to a computer screen, why would it ask anything?)
Anyway I should get some homework done before rehearsal at 5:30. I hope you all are doing well. I'll see you all tomorrow.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Almost Forgot
I can't believe it! I was going to go to bed without updating! I can't believe I almost forgot! I was watching American Horror Story, which by the way, you NEED to watch. It's AMAZING! So I've been reading Zoella's (Zoe Sugg) new book, and the chapters I've read so far, have actually related to so much to the situations that it blows my mind! It's a brilliant novel! I love it so much I don't want it to end I'm taking a LONG time to read it, because it's totally worth it! Speaking of British people...
My younger brother has this friend in Britain. His friend is 9 years older than me, and likes me... I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I'm flattered but still, it's a bit weird. I mean nothing against him, it's "unusual" to me. I saw him once over Skype, for like 10 minutes, only because my brother was talking to him and I needed to ask him, my brother, a question.
Anyone else think that's a bit weird? I seriously need to sleep though, I haven't slept very well and I'm probably going to end up with the flu. I hope not I hate being sick. Earlier during History, I could barely stay awake, felt like I could've projectile vomited everywhere(sorry about that image). But I felt like I was going to die. So good night everyone.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
(p.s. Sorry this is so short, I feel like death. Good night!)
My younger brother has this friend in Britain. His friend is 9 years older than me, and likes me... I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I'm flattered but still, it's a bit weird. I mean nothing against him, it's "unusual" to me. I saw him once over Skype, for like 10 minutes, only because my brother was talking to him and I needed to ask him, my brother, a question.
Anyone else think that's a bit weird? I seriously need to sleep though, I haven't slept very well and I'm probably going to end up with the flu. I hope not I hate being sick. Earlier during History, I could barely stay awake, felt like I could've projectile vomited everywhere(sorry about that image). But I felt like I was going to die. So good night everyone.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
(p.s. Sorry this is so short, I feel like death. Good night!)
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
The Late one
This blog is up late so I'll have two updates today. I've been worried about so much that I feel dysfunctional. I mean, I can still do things, but I just don't want to do half of them anymore! An example would be cleaning my room, I need to but it doesn't mean I want to. I mean I'm going to have to do some DEEP spring cleaning soon. It looks like several tornadoes came through wreaking each corner of my bedroom. I don't know what it is about cleaning that just never motivates me. I suppose I have to be in the mood to clean, which is true, but it doesn't help as half of the time I'm on the internet, and most of the time it's YouTube the rest it's Spotify. Another thing is, I about an hour ago, hit an all-time-low as I had started chewing on whatever the little ring is called on a water or soda bottle. I chewed on plastic! What the hell was I thinking? Have I falling into a "vortex of boredom?"
Another thing that has to pertain to an earlier topic that I think I've mentioned. Either way, I'm not scared of dying, as I'm scared of the inevitable, and I'm excited for the future. We have these goals that we want to achieve, my problem is knowing whether or not it's going to happen. Maybe it's because I'm 16 and a teenage girl that has dealt with so much bull, that seeing myself achieve these things is getting harder. I'm working on it, but everything I do seems basic, like I'm not an overachiever, and I can be, it just depends.
As it's almost 1 a.m. I'm going to go to sleep, because I feel if you don't go to sleep right when your body tells you, you won't be able to sleep later which is what I've been trying to do lately so. Good night.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
(p.s. sorry this was short I was going to write this earlier but it didn't go that well. Soz...)
(\__/) Have
(='.'=) A
(")_(") Bunny...
Another thing that has to pertain to an earlier topic that I think I've mentioned. Either way, I'm not scared of dying, as I'm scared of the inevitable, and I'm excited for the future. We have these goals that we want to achieve, my problem is knowing whether or not it's going to happen. Maybe it's because I'm 16 and a teenage girl that has dealt with so much bull, that seeing myself achieve these things is getting harder. I'm working on it, but everything I do seems basic, like I'm not an overachiever, and I can be, it just depends.
As it's almost 1 a.m. I'm going to go to sleep, because I feel if you don't go to sleep right when your body tells you, you won't be able to sleep later which is what I've been trying to do lately so. Good night.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
(p.s. sorry this was short I was going to write this earlier but it didn't go that well. Soz...)
(\__/) Have
(='.'=) A
(")_(") Bunny...
Monday, March 2, 2015
Friends
Hey guys. So today I was really excited for this school production that I'm in until they cancelled the last TWO rehearsals! We were supposed to have rehearsal yesterday but due to this massive shit-storm(snow) outside they cancelled, and I was looking forward to it. Tonight they cancelled rehearsal because of Festival of Choirs or FoC. So the "Music Man" was saddened because of rehearsal being cancelled. FoC has went on from 4 to I think 9. And seeing as I'm writing this now you'd probably get the clue that I'm not in Choir. Yeah, I'm a Band nerd... I play the Clarinet, I did for a short time play Alto Sax, but my Saxophone was absolute crap! I'm not joking, no matter how hard I tried it either squeaked, or didn't play. Whence I got to Clarinet, it was much easier, mostly because all my friends played it, so I had help.
Speaking of friends, I have a lot more than I think I have,(that's what happens in high school, I guess) but my very close friend(16), whom I've been friends with for almost 11 years (this August), is kind of getting annoying. I hate to admit that because of how long we've been friends. I'm afraid she's going to think that I was faking it or something along those lines. I don't know it's just been so hard to tell her. Another one of my friends(15), is I think confused because when she hangs with me, we have a bond I can't really explain. Hell, we became friends over a Pirates of the Caribbean folder. A BLOODY FOLDER!! When she's with the friend I was talking about previously, she's what you'd call a "perverted girly-girl," when she's with me, she's just a normal perverted girl(basically, we laugh at perverted things). But she's also getting really annoying because, okay, all three of us together can either be a good or bad thing, but if we're in rehearsal, I'm in a corner reading wanting to speak up and they're on the other-side of me hugging each other(in a way non-lesbians do, no offense. I salute you) and I'm sitting there like "Really? What the Hell?"
I don't know, have any of you guys just wanted to be in a bubble away from everyone? Also, I'm trying to think of a cool name to call my readers, for any suggestions leave them below! Anything ironic works great.
Ta Ta For Now guys
~Jax
Speaking of friends, I have a lot more than I think I have,(that's what happens in high school, I guess) but my very close friend(16), whom I've been friends with for almost 11 years (this August), is kind of getting annoying. I hate to admit that because of how long we've been friends. I'm afraid she's going to think that I was faking it or something along those lines. I don't know it's just been so hard to tell her. Another one of my friends(15), is I think confused because when she hangs with me, we have a bond I can't really explain. Hell, we became friends over a Pirates of the Caribbean folder. A BLOODY FOLDER!! When she's with the friend I was talking about previously, she's what you'd call a "perverted girly-girl," when she's with me, she's just a normal perverted girl(basically, we laugh at perverted things). But she's also getting really annoying because, okay, all three of us together can either be a good or bad thing, but if we're in rehearsal, I'm in a corner reading wanting to speak up and they're on the other-side of me hugging each other(in a way non-lesbians do, no offense. I salute you) and I'm sitting there like "Really? What the Hell?"
I don't know, have any of you guys just wanted to be in a bubble away from everyone? Also, I'm trying to think of a cool name to call my readers, for any suggestions leave them below! Anything ironic works great.
Ta Ta For Now guys
~Jax
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Hello
This is not my first blog. I've blogged before, but now is the time I'm going to actually try. Keeping a diary is really hard for me, I like to physically write but, this seems easier to keep track of things online. And because its the first of March, why not? On this blog, I'm going to write about lots of things, most of which is my opinion, and you don't have to like or agree with it. This is just going to be a way for me to vent and essentially share stories and dreams. I don't know what all I'll put. I mean, What stories do I start with?
I guess the main thing right now is deciding what I want to do with my life. By this I mean I have an option to go to a career center or stay at my high school. Scheduling is a struggle, because I haven't got a clue what I want to do, I shouldn't have to choose right this second, but there's SO much pressure! If I go to the career center I can bother my brother, the only things stopping me are band, and some AMAZING teachers that I won't be able to see. It's really hard not to break into tears right now. I don't want to wonder "What if" because you can "what if" ANYTHING! I just want to be happy, with the decisions I'm about to make. I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. I spent a little time talking to my mom which unfortunately, wasn't really helpful. I mean, thanks for trying but it didn't help me, it just made me a little more depressed on the subject. This is why it's better to figure things out by myself, I hate asking for help, it's even more annoying when you know that person doesn't help or that persons answer seems wrong. "We are all Independent minds in this universe that can do everything and anything we've ever dreamed of. There's no point in living if you're not going to do it!" ~Dan Howell (danisnotonfire). I live by this and unfortunately THIS doesn't even help the situation I'm currently in.
I'm sorry for sounding like such a Debbie Downer, but I'm so upset that we have to choose what to do with our lives as soon as we hit high school. I recommend watching Dan on YouTube if you haven't already, he's helped me through a LOT.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
I guess the main thing right now is deciding what I want to do with my life. By this I mean I have an option to go to a career center or stay at my high school. Scheduling is a struggle, because I haven't got a clue what I want to do, I shouldn't have to choose right this second, but there's SO much pressure! If I go to the career center I can bother my brother, the only things stopping me are band, and some AMAZING teachers that I won't be able to see. It's really hard not to break into tears right now. I don't want to wonder "What if" because you can "what if" ANYTHING! I just want to be happy, with the decisions I'm about to make. I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. I spent a little time talking to my mom which unfortunately, wasn't really helpful. I mean, thanks for trying but it didn't help me, it just made me a little more depressed on the subject. This is why it's better to figure things out by myself, I hate asking for help, it's even more annoying when you know that person doesn't help or that persons answer seems wrong. "We are all Independent minds in this universe that can do everything and anything we've ever dreamed of. There's no point in living if you're not going to do it!" ~Dan Howell (danisnotonfire). I live by this and unfortunately THIS doesn't even help the situation I'm currently in.
I'm sorry for sounding like such a Debbie Downer, but I'm so upset that we have to choose what to do with our lives as soon as we hit high school. I recommend watching Dan on YouTube if you haven't already, he's helped me through a LOT.
Ta Ta For Now guys,
~Jax
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